


And I Feel Adrichat In This Chili's Tonight

by MerakiMela



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrichat, F/F, F/M, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Swearing, feelings reveal, identity reveals, ladynette, pranks gone weird, the kwamis are older than the concept of time but they have no idea how to deal with this nonsense, the self-love nightmare continues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerakiMela/pseuds/MerakiMela
Summary: When Adrien accidentally reveals too much information in a Ladynette fic, Marinette is out for vengeance. How does he take having to read an Adrichat fic? Pretty good, it doesn't seem.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 26
Kudos: 274





	1. Ladynette

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this nonsense because of the nightmare that was spawned by tumblr user @buggachat making a joke post about Adrien finding Adrichat fics, but put my own lil' spin on it.

“Hey Marinette, can I talk to you for a minute?” Marc asked, shuffling awkwardly on their feet, eyes darting back and forth as if checking to see if someone was coming.

“Of course! Lead the way.” Marinette replied warmly, gesturing away from her group of friends and towards the space underneath the stairs leading to the upper levels of the school. After the pair had reached the more private location, Marinette smiled reassuringly at Marc, hoping it would help them feel less nervous.

“So…the other day Adrien made a kind of surprising request.” Marc started, before pausing as if to check if Marinette would need a moment to calm down once she heard what the topic was. She felt proud of herself that she was able to remain calm at the mention of her crush. She really had come a long way since the days she would squeal at any reference to him. Marc seemed to recognise that she was fine for them to continue.

“He asked me to proof read his one-sided Ladybug X Marinette pining fan fic – ”

“WHAT?!” Marinette screeched uncontrollably.

_So much for staying calm._

Marc, understandably, flinched at her loudness, causing her to wince.

“Sorry Marc. C-Could you please explain what y-you mean?” She prompted, forcing her expression into what she hoped resembled some form of composure.

“H-He wrote a fan fic about Ladybug falling in love with you, but it’s unrequited because in the fic you’re in love with and dating Luka.” Marc explained.

“…Huh.” Marinette was stumped. Adrien thought she was in love with Luka. He had also somehow come up with a scenario where she was in love with herself. Marc shifted uneasily.

“W-Was there more you wanted to say?” Marinette prompted, despite knowing it would only cause the awkward energy they were both giving off to spiral further.

“Yeah. I’m only bringing this up with you because…well, I might be wrong, but it really felt like Adrien was projecting onto Ladybug. He wrote it from her perspective and it really felt more like he was talking about how he feels about you. I know how you feel, so I thought that if there was a chance that you, you know, had a chance that you’d want to know.” Marc continued. Marinette took a moment to think. Could Adrien have feelings for her and he’s holding back because he thinks she’s in a relationship with Luka? Or does he just think about her kissing herself?

_Oh wow, that’s a dangerous thing to think about._

“I’ll send it to you, maybe you’ll be able figure out if my theory is right or not.” Marc suggested.

“Okay!” Marinette managed to squeak out.

~~

_“I’m sorry but now your identity is no longer a secret. I won’t be able to give you a Miraculous again.” Ladybug revealed solemnly. The dejected expression on Marinette’s face broke her heart. Ladybug hated that she had to make Marinette feel like she had failed, especially after she had done such an incredible job of dual-wielding the Rat and Black Cat Miraculous and saving her and Chat Noir from Kwamibuster._

_The truth was that Ladybug never really wanted to give Marinette a Miraculous in the first place; it was too risky to put someone so important to her in danger. No matter how perfect she’d be at being a hero. If Marinette got seriously hurt, Ladybug wasn’t sure that she’d be able to focus enough to fight. Today was a rare exception where it was truly necessary to bring in someone amazing, and thanks to her silly little slip up, it gave Ladybug the perfect excuse not to bring Marinette back into the fold._

_“I’ll take Marinette back, Chat Noir. You take Ms Mendeleiev.” Ladybug commanded to her partner, before pulling Marinette close to her body in preparation to carry her away. As she felt the girl’s body heat press up again her and caught scent of her sweet aroma, Ladybug felt her heart beat increase dangerously. As Chat Noir rattled on, something to do with an elementary school, she haphazardly responded to him before risking a look at Marinette. Her mouth felt dry as she took in the adorable surprised expression on her face, supressing a gasp as it melted away into the gentle, trusting smile that she fell in love with._

“Tikki, I don’t think I can finish reading this! It’s too weird imagining me actually thinking this stuff about myself!” Marinette exclaimed, muffling her words by pressing a cushion into her face.

“Why are you reading it in the first place? You knew that this was what it was going to be about.” Tikki questioned. Marinette looked up to see Tikki floating in front of her with a perplexed expression.

“I’m reading it because Marc saw hidden subtext that Adrien is in love with me and I need to see if he was right. But it’s hard because of the gushing way he’s talking about me. It’s like he can’t bring attention to me without singing me praises!” Marinette explained, collapsing backwards onto her chaise.

“Uh, Marinette? It kinda sounds like you’ve already figured it out.” Tikki commented with almost a teasing lilt.

_What is she talking abo – Wait a minute!_

“How did Adrien know what happened on that rooftop?” Marinette asked, sitting up as the cogs turned in her mind. Tikki’s eyes widened with surprise.

“This was not the thing I was hoping you were going to realise from this.” The Kwami squeaked.

“He would have had to have been there, and the only people who were there were myself, Ms Mendeleiev and…HOLY SHIT ADRIEN IS CHAT NOIR!” Marinette yelped.

“Maybe Chat Noir or Ms Mendeleiev simply told Adrien what happened.” Tikki countered desperately.

“No, now that I’ve said it out loud I am one hundred percent convinced. He really puts NO effort into concealing his identity. Wow, now that I think about it, he’s even posted Instagram photos that imply Plagg is in the background! It’s like he wants to be found out!” Marinette complained with a huff.

“And another thing! Where does that cat get off writing romantic fan fic about me and my civilian identity? Not to mention going around and showing it to people! The nerve! There’s got to be a way I can get vengeance.” Marinette growled, hopping up onto her feet to pace frantically.

“Uh…Marinette? Is there something that you might be overlooking?” Tikki queried, trailing behind her, only to have to dodge her when she turned around quickly. Suddenly, Marinette stopped in her tracks with a gasp.

“I just thought of the perfect payback. Time for Operation: AdriChat!” Marinette declared, before darting over to her computer. Tikki sighed, drifting over to the chaise and lying down on it to stare at the ceiling. No matter how old she gets, humans seem to always find a way to stress her out.


	2. Adrichat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vengeance is sweet.

Adrien approached the school with an energetic grin. He took on Marc’s advice to change the civilian names in his fan fiction before posting it and was wildly happy with the positive feedback he had received from the online community over the past week for his ‘OC’ Marion and her complicated relationship with Ladybug. Apparently he had a way of capturing the lesbian experience of yearning and obliviousness. How he got the skill he had no idea, he just wrote from what he knew. His smile faltered as he recalled one particular comment.

_“OMG poor Ladybug! It’s so clear that Marion has feeling for her by the way she acts around her! If Ladybug could just see it they could be so happy :’(”_

He hadn’t meant to make it seem like Marion had feelings back for Ladybug, it was meant to be a one-sided pining work. A lot of commenters said something similar, so he knows he must have done something funny while writing without realising. Or maybe the way Marinette acts can be easily misinterpreted as romantic. It would explain why so many people he knows have developed feelings for her at one point or another. Besides the obvious reasons of how sweet and talented she is, not to mention how cute her little smile is.

_Luka is so lucky to have a girl like Marinette._

Speaking of lucky, Adrien smiled wider as he saw Marc and Nathaniel huddled together just past the doors to the school. He was a little jealous of how perfect they were together. An illustrator and a writer, working together to make wonderful adventures. They reminded him of Ladybug and himself, only for them their love wasn’t unrequited.

“Hey you two! What’s up?” Adrien greeted warmly, only to be immediately startled by both of them jumping half a metre in the air, yelping.

“Nothing! We didn’t do anything!” Nathaniel squeaked out, looking incredibly nervous for someone who had apparently done nothing.

“Okaay…” Adrien responded, watching the pair squeeze together, hiding Nathaniel’s tablet behind their backs. It seemed like Nathaniel and Marc were really embarrassed about whatever they were looking at, so he decided not to push it.

“Anyway, I just wanted to thank you Marc. The advice you gave really helped and people have been really responsive to my work! I can’t believe it blew up the way it did!” Adrien thanked, beaming at the writer.

“Sounds like he doesn’t know about his new competition.” Nathaniel snickered under his breath to Marc, who in turn elbowed him to shush.

“Ignore him! A-And don’t mention it! Was no problem to help out a friend.” Marc replied, plastering a friendly smile over their face. Adrien felt himself give a relaxed smile back.

_I wonder if Marinette and I had a kid they’d look like Marc…wait, WHAT was that?!_

Adrien’s eyes blew wide open and his smile dropped at the thought. He couldn’t think of stuff like that. Marinette was with someone else, but even if she wasn’t, it still was not appropriate for him to imagine having babies with his friend. After mumbling something incoherent about having to go, Adrien paced away towards the classroom. Taking deep, steady breaths, he felt himself calm down just in time to open the door to his classroom, ready to leave all scandalous thoughts of his friend behind him. Entering the room, he was surprised to see that Marinette was on time for once, sitting next to Alya who was engrossed with something she was reading on her phone.

“This is _amazing_ , Marinette. I can’t believe you actually did it. I would kill to watch sunshine react to this.” Alya commented through downright devious sounding giggles. With that, Marinette looked up and noticed he was standing there. As her expression shifted into a mischievous grin, Adrien couldn’t help but feel both nervous and intrigued.

“Your wish is my command!” Marinette replied, plucking her phone back from Alya and walking over to Adrien.

“Girl, what – ”

“Hey Adrien, I have something I’d like you to have a look at.” Marinette requested in a sweet way that just seemed suspicious after the expression she had just been wearing.

“It’s a piece of creative writing that I’m very interested in getting your opinion on.” She continued, scrolling up on her phone before handing it over to him.

“OH MY GOD!” Alya shouted in disbelief, somewhere stuck between shock and joy.

_Why do I feel like I am in danger?_

“Okay then. I’ll just sit down to read it then.” He agreed before walking over to his desk and doing just as he said.

“Hey dudes, what’s u – ” Nino’s greeting was suddenly cut off by Alya shushing him frantically. Adrien couldn’t help but worry that Alya actually would kill someone to watch him read whatever Marinette wrote.

_“How dare she say I'm not a ten! I'm going to round up every ten I find and steal their attractiveness, starting with Adrien Agreste!” Screamed the akumatised victim._

_“That can’t be good.” Adrien thought out loud. Glancing around, he winced as he recalled that the current shoot location was a particularly tall building's rooftop, so his only chance of getting away was the fire escape door. Luckily it was being propped open. Unluckily the akuma was standing between it and Adrien. As the akuma closed in on him, he found himself backing into the corner of the roof._

_“Hmm...or maybe it would be better to just kill every ten. That way I don’t have to change to be the hottest man she knows!” The akuma contemplated, before jolting suddenly towards Adrien and picking him up by the lapels and holding his upper body over the edge._

_“Let’s see how pretty you are when you’re dropped from a height of two hundred metres.” The akuma chuckled darkly, before suddenly letting go of his shirt. Adrien only had a few moments to clench his eyes shut and contemplate everything he had missed out on in life before his free fall was interrupted by a warm, firm chest. Prying his eyes open, he was greeted by shiny black leather, peachy lips pulled into a smirk, and a pair of stunning green cat eyes framed by a black mask and wild blonde locks._

_“So this is the great Adrien Agreste that everyone is purring about.” Chat Noir commented, his intense eyes scanning up and down Adrien’s body like an apex predator. An uncontrollable shiver ran down his spine. Even as Chat Noir looked away, Adrien couldn’t help but focus on the hero’s eyes and expressions, completely mesmerised by each twitch of a muscle. Adrien flinched as he felt a sudden jolt, realising that the leather-clad hero had been climbing the side of the building and had now reached the roof all while Adrien had been distracted. He felt his stomach drop as he realised this meant that Chat Noir will probably put him down now. Was it a bad thing that he didn’t want to let go? That he wanted to keep feeling the flexing muscles beneath the suit and the warm that the hero radiated?_

_“Chat Noir! Get Adrien out of here now! I'll make sure the akuma doesn’t follow.” He heard the voice of Ladybug command. Usually Adrien would snap at the chance to gaze upon Ladybug in all her beauty and glory, but something was making him keep his attention on her partner. Chat Noir nodded at her with a grin._

_“One Prince Charming safe and sound coming right up.” He responded, before shifting Adrien’s position so that he could wrap he legs around his waist and his arms around his shoulders, freeing the hero’s arms to be able to vault away. The wind whipping around them was sharp and exhilarating, and despite how dangerous it was Adrien couldn’t help but revel in how freeing it felt. Was this how Chat Noir felt every time he ran across the rooftops of Paris? What wouldn’t Adrien give to feel this every day. Too soon, Chat Noir stopped at a rooftop that was apparently far away from the fight to be safe. The hands on Adrien’s hips seemed to be a signal to get down and Adrien reluctantly obliged, appreciating the hands that stabilised him as he wobbled on his feet. Once Adrien was sturdy enough on his own feet, Chat Noir let go and began backing away and Adrien immediately felt a chill fall over his body as he lost contact. Chat Noir was about to leave, so this was his chance to say something, anything to try and get him to stay a moment longer._

_“Th-Thank you for saving me.” Adrien fumbled out, cheeks heating up as Chat Noir’s eyes lingered on him. Chat Noir’s lips curled into a charming grin._

_“Come on, as if I could ever let anything happen to the face of Paris. Besides, I think daddy Agreste would skin me if I did.” The hero smoothly replied. The thought of referring to his father as “daddy Agreste” made Adrien’s nose scrunch up with disgust._

_“Ew, please don’t call my father that.” Adrien complained, winning a gorgeous laugh out of the hero._

_“Would you prefer I call you daddy?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. As the suggestion whirred around in Adrien’s head, he couldn’t help but become aroused by the idea of the leather-clad hero calling him “daddy”, crawling at him while purring._

_“Yes!” Adrien blurted out uncontrollably. Realising what he had said, his eyes grew wide with panic. Looking at Chat Noir, his face mirrored his own, eyes widening in surprise and mouth forming a supple ‘o’ shape._

_“O-Oh.” Chat Noir stammered out, a blush spreading rapidly from his cheeks across his face and down his neck. Just like that, Adrien’s panic melted away, quickly replaced by devious joy. It appeared that when it came to flirty, suggestive comments, Chat Noir could dish them out but he couldn’t take them. With new found confidence, Adrien slinked closer to Chat Noir wearing the smoulder he got paid the big bucks for._

_“Please be careful in this fight, Chaton. The akuma is willing to kill a ten, so who knows what he’d do to a thirteen.” Adrien warned in the smoothest voice he could muster, raising his hand to gently cup Chat Noir’s cheek and brush it with his thumb. The hero’s blush grew darker, mouth opening and shutting several times before he was able to actually speak._

_“Th-Thirteen? Do you mean that, or was it just a joke about bad luck?” Chat Noir questioned nervously, eyes shimmering with hope. Adrien chuckled lowly before leaning in close enough for their noses to touch._

_“Both, mon beau.” Adrien answered, before finally pressing their lips together._

Just when Adrien thought it was over, he scrolled down to see that an illustration of the final moment of the fan fiction was attached at the bottom of the chapter. To say it was weird to see an image of him kissing himself would be an understatement. As he lowered the phone out of his line of sight, he realised that his mouth was dry and he had begun sweating profusely. Did Marinette often imagine him kissing his alter ego? How far did those fantasies go? At that thought, he encountered a new problem.

_Down boy! Stop thinking about Marinette thinking about us like that! That’s not appropriate!_

He shifted his weight awkwardly and looked up at Marinette to suss out if she could tell what Adrien Jr was up to in his pants. It was only when he saw the downright incriminating smirk on her face that he remembered that she went there first, and had no right to get mad at him for his mind going to the gutter.

“So, what did you think?” She asked, her voice somehow sounding innocent while her expression remained devious. He hated how cute he found it.

“I think he liked it a lot, judging by how he’s flying at half-mast by reading that alone.” Alya chimed in, expression just as satisfied as Marinette’s. Adrien jumped as he remembered other people were in the room.

_Oh no! She thinks this is from the story!_

“Wait, no! It’s not like that!” Adrien blurted out in a panic, eyes blowing wide open as his cheeks heated up from embarrassment. He didn’t need anyone thinking he was into reading stories about himself.

“Damn, Marinette! How did you know Adrien was so into Chat Noir before me? I’m usually the first to know whenever someone has the hots for one of the heroes.” Alya laughed, jabbing an elbow into Marinette, who was chuckling darkly as she kept her eyes on him.

“No! I don’t have the hots for Chat Noir!” He whined. Marinette snorted.

“Of course you do. Why else would you go on about how cool he is every time he gets brought up? The only other people who are as obsessed with him as you are Nino and Chat Noir himself. That cat’s ego is so big, he even told me once that he could fall in love with himself!” Marinette countered, looking at him with knowing eyes. All too knowing eyes…

“…Fuck.” Adrien groaned, slumping in defeat. Ladybug was going to be so pissed when he told her someone found out his identity. Alya let out an excited gasp.

“I knew it! You totally do have the hots for Chat Noir!” She exclaimed victoriously. Adrien winced.

_Yeah, I can see why she’d come to that conclusion._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #letadriensayfuck2k20
> 
> If anyone was wondering, yes Marinette commissioned Nathaniel to draw the pic, and yes that's what he and Marc were looking at when Adrien greeted them and that's why they were so jumpy.


	3. Let the Games Begin

_Ladybug swung her legs from the railing she had propped herself up on as she watched Marion and Jean-Luc stroll side by side towards the girl’s apartment. Ladybug sighed, realising that the pair was probably on a date. As the couple reached her front door, Marion turned and pulled Jean-Luc into a big, loving hug that made Ladybug feel like her heart was leaping out of her chest. She was glad she’d never seen the couple kiss before, beyond a standard friendly bisou. She wasn’t sure how bad the damage would be to her heart. It was really lucky for her that they didn’t seem to be into any PDA, although it didn’t stop her from imagining what they did behind closed doors. Regardless of how much it hurt, Ladybug hoped the boy made her feel like the most important girl in the world._

_Marion pulled away from Jean-Luc, and after a gentle wave and a sweet smile she disappeared inside. Jean-Luc seemed to stare at the door for a few moments before turning to walk back home. He let out a sigh as his face sank into a sad expression of longing. Ladybug thought it was kind of sweet that he’d already miss his girlfriend so quickly after seeing her, even if it did seem a bit dramatic for someone who already had the girl. Once she’d watched the boy walk around the corner and out of sight, she returned her gaze to Marion’s apartment and was delighted to see that the girl had elected to climb up to her balcony. Ladybug smiled fondly, realising that the raven-haired girl was doing her usual nervous pacing while talking to herself. Curious to see what it was about this time, she went to lean forward in hopes of catching some of her words. Ironic to her namesake, Ladybug unfortunately fumbled when the railing she was on was too flimsy to handle her shift in weight, yelping as she thudded onto the roof beneath her. Ladybug awkwardly lifted her eyes to see if Marion saw her tumble, groaning when she saw the girl looking at her with doe eyes full of concern. Ladybug couldn’t figure out if it was more or less embarrassing than if she had just laughed at her. Not wanting the beautiful girl to worry, Ladybug decided that she better swing over to her balcony and let her know she was okay._

_“Eed goovening – I mean, good evening Ladybug. A-Are you okay?” Marion greeted, blushing as she stumbled with her words. It was very cute how embarrassed she got every time she stammered, but a part of Ladybug wished that the girl wouldn’t get so intimidated in the first place. She understood that being a famous superhero was intimidating, but she also knew that she was just as human as anyone else, and that the two of them could be really good friends if Marion could get past her nerves._

_“Hey Marion. Nothing’s bruised, except for my ego. Is it possible to bribe you into forgetting you saw that?” Ladybug greeted with an awkward laugh. Upon realising that Ladybug was not hurt, Marion broke into a heart warming smile that went so sweetly with the blush that was yet to fade from her cheeks._

_“I-I have something that might help with that. The bruised ego, that is.” Marion suggested, somehow seeming shy and cheeky at the same time. Ladybug’s heart skipped a beat._

_“You have something? For me?” She asked, not bothering to conceal the hopefulness in her voice. Marion’s blush deepened as she gave a cute little nod._

_“Hate right we’re – I mean, wait right here!” Marion nervously instructed, before disappearing down the trap door leading to her bedroom. So Ladybug waited, shifting her weight awkwardly from foot to foot, trying to find the best looking but still casual pose to be in when Marion returned. In no more than a minute, the trap door popped back open and the girl reappeared, now holding a small pastry box from her parent’s bakery downstairs. Marion took a deep breath that seemed to steady herself._

_“These are for you. I made them myself, to thank you for all the times you have saved me… AND the rest of Paris! But, specifically me because I can’t speak on behalf of everybody, you know? That would be pretty pretentious of me to declare myself some sort of spokesperson for the people, am I right?” Marion rambled, words becoming more mumbled and nervous as she carried on. Ladybug felt a warmth spread through her chest. It was just so Marion._

_“Thank you, Marion. That’s very sweet of you.” Ladybug managed to compliment with a friendly tone. She reached forward and carefully took the box from the girl’s hands and opened it. Inside were about a dozen yellow, heart-shaped macarons, the pleasant smell of passionfruit wafting out from them. Ladybug was excited for a few seconds as she noted the heart-shaped treats, wondering if that meant anything. Her heart sunk as she remembered something about yellow symbolising friendship, and realised that they were probably just a gesture of friendship rather than a declaration of love. Looking up at Marion, she saw that the girl had a worried look on her face._

_“Oh no! Do you not like passionfruit? I heard it was your favourite, so I was trying to make them more special. I’m sorry, I can make a new batch with a different flavour –”_

_“No! I mean, passionfruit is my favourite. I just remembered I forgot about something I was meant to do tonight. Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise!” Ladybug reassured, mentally berating herself for letting her feelings show. Marion’s lips formed a soft ‘o’ shape as she took in the excuse, eventually shifting to a sad smile as she appeared to accept it._

_“Does that mean you have to go?” The girl asked, looking disappointed by the idea. Ladybug wanted to kick herself. If she had come up with a different lie she’d be able to stay longer!_

_“Unfortunately. Thank you for the macarons. I’ll think of you when I enjoy them.” Ladybug declared, proud of the blush she got to return to the girl’s cheeks from the praise. She always did get shy about accepting compliments about her work. Her humility was one of the things that made her so amazing. With a reluctant wave, Ladybug threw her yo-yo and swung off into the night._

“Are you seeing this Tikki? This isn’t creative writing, he just took an interaction I had with him when he was Adrien and changed some words around for it to be about Ladybug! He didn’t even change the flavour of the macarons, even though he knows passionfruit isn’t Ladybug’s favourite flavour! That cat is so lazy!” Marinette exclaimed, pushing her chair away from her computer and leaning back in it dramatically.

“What’s even more frustrating is that even though he has written in detail the evidence of my crush on him, it somehow still hasn’t registered to him! Look! Even people in the comments can tell Marion is in love with Ladybug!” She continued to rant, springing back up to gesture wildly at the screen. Tikki floated over to her chosen with a cautious look on her face.

“Speaking of things not registering, have you thought more abo –”

“Shh! Tikki, hide! I think I just heard Chat Noir land on my balcony!” Marinette interrupted with an urgent whisper. Tikki closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if she was centring herself, before flying off to her hiding space. A gentle rapping sounded on her trap door.

“Come in.” She called out, swivelling her chair to face her bed. The trap door opened and Chat Noir hesitantly lowered himself onto her bed. Eyes scanning the room, he flinched slightly when he caught sight of her.

“H-Hello Marinette.” He greeted with a nervous politeness usually reserved for his other identity.

“Hello Adrien.” She replied flatly, causing him to wince before letting out an awkward laugh.

“About that…if you know who I am, why did you write that story?” He asked, looking genuinely confused.

“I thought a little payback was in order.” Marinette answered with a hint of a mischievous grin pulling at her lips as she gestured to the computer screen behind her. Chat Noir hopped down from the bed with inhuman silence and paced over to her computer. It only took a couple of seconds for him to realise what it was, as he was quickly backing away from the computer with wide eyes and a rapidly spreading blush.

“I-I’m sorry, Marinette. I didn’t think you’d ever read it. I changed the names and everything!” He apologised frantically.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t remember beat for beat interactions with you? Both versions of you?” She retorted, thinking better than to throw Marc under the bus. It seemed to dawn on him that by using real life conversations and situations he was exposing himself as being the same person, judging by the horrified expression that was growing on his face.

“So that’s how you figured me out. Ugh! Ladybug is going to kill me! I mean, not really kill me, but she’ll take my miraculous away so that’s basically the same thing!” He lamented miserably. Okay, now Marinette was starting to feel bad. He was meant to figure out her identity and get annoyed at her payback! Did she not give enough hints? Marinette felt her brain freeze with realisation.

_Did I give him any hints at all?_

Now she felt incredibly bad. Her poor kitty thinks he exposed his identity to a random citizen, not his partner. As bad as it made her feel, it did warm her heart that lying to Ladybug about the situation hasn’t seemed to occur to him as an option. She sighed dreamily. Adrien is so honest…

_Wait a minute… **ADRIEN** IS CHAT NOIR!_

“Hnnnnng! Whaa- habba…lurr?” Churned out of her mouth very intelligently. Chat Noir stopped mid-spiral and snapped around to look at her with those beautiful green eyes full of concern. She must be making even less sense than usual. How was she meant to speak coherently when it just dawned on her that it was _Adrien_ that had been flirting with her this whole damn time? Adrien confessed his love to her and she turned him down! For him in a different outfit! Marinette emitted a strangled scream, before letting her body collapse and slide out of her chair.

“Marinette!” Chat Noir gasped, rushing over to her and dropping down to the ground beside her, bringing a hand to her shoulder and the other to cup her cheek.

“Marinette! What happened? Talk to me, please! Are you having a seizure? Are you having a stroke? Oh god, what does a stroke look like?!” Chat Noir panicked, eyes darting all over her body, not knowing what to check for. If Marinette could form words, she might comment on how sweet and protective he was.

“Calm down, she’s medically fine. It just finally registered fully that her partner was Adrien the whole time.” Marinette heard Tikki reassure. That shocked her enough to snap her out of her spiral.

“Tikki! What are you doing?” She questioned, nearly headbutting Chat Noir as she sat up to quickly. Luckily he had pretty quick reflexes.

“Sorry, but I had to compromise your identity. Adrien was seconds away from either calling for your parents or dialling an ambulance.” Tikki explained with an apologetic wince as she floated down towards her holder. Marinette looked to Chat Noir to find his eyes darting between Tikki and herself, and she could almost see the equations floating around his head.

“Wait, you’re…her? But you were both…how? It couldn’t have been an illusion, you touched!” He questioned, shock blending with confusion.

“Uh…they were both illusions. I didn’t actually fix everything until you were gone.” Marinette revealed, trying not to react to how cute his confused face was. Gears appeared to turn in his mind, and within moments he gasped.

“Ah! My Lady is so clever!” He exclaimed, collapsing backwards onto his back with his arms splayed on either side as he stared at the ceiling. Marinette edged towards him, about to ask if he was okay when he suddenly let out a cross between a groan and a whine as he slapped his hands to his face.

“I wrote fan fiction where you kissed yourself and then you saw it!” He groaned, muffled through his hands.

“Spoilers! I hadn’t gotten up to that part yet.” Marinette said with a mock gasp. He let out another embarrassed groan and she couldn’t help but giggle.

“Just put me out of my misery before I dig myself into a bigger hole.” He mumbled, the blush he’d been hiding behind his hands spreading down his neck. Seeing him like this was doing something to her brain. She knew the right thing to do would be to cut back on making fun of him. But the allure of vengeance for all the times she got embarrassed in front of him was too tempting.

“No, I think I’d rather hear about how long you worked on imagining me kissing myself.” She teased mischievously, poking a finger into his stomach. Something about that seemed to make Chat Noir snap, as he suddenly sat up and dropped his hands with an annoyed look on his face.

“Oh yeah? How long did you spend thinking about me kissing myself? I bet you stared at that drawing for hours, didn’t you?” He retorted, crossing his arms.

_Oh shit, how did he know?_

“Uh…”

“At least I changed the names _and_ didn’t show it to you in the middle of class _and_ didn’t make Alya think you were in love with yourself as revenge. I just wrote my story because before I knew you were the same person I thought you were the only one good enough for my lady!” He argued defiantly. Marinette blinked at him as she processed what he said. Suddenly it dawned on her just how unfair her revenge plan was on him.

“Oh, Kitty. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have got so carried away.” She apologised sincerely, leaning in and gently placing a hand on his cheek. The annoyed look in his eyes shifted and his entire expression melted into a soft, dreamy smile. He blinked slowly at her for a moment, before quickly shaking his head and scrambling on to his feet and out of her reach. She was worried until she saw the cheeky smile on his face.

“Too late, my Lady. You’ve started a war that I very much intend to win.” He announced with a darkening grin, before absconding from her room and into the night.

Just like that, she was worried for very different reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boi we in it now

**Author's Note:**

> it's only downhill from here people.
> 
> Please pray for your local tired Kwami and enjoy the rest of this dumpster fire


End file.
